All women are magic...It's in our nature.
This past month, my ASL. Book Club read When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill - after I had suggested it since I finished the book in January. When asked about why I continued to recommend, I struggled to explain until finally, I signed, "This book needs to be read - especially by women." And honestly, everyone should read it. This book made me feel so many different emotions - from sadness, to anger, to joy and understanding, to disappointment. And so much rage.
"The only thing more patently obscene than ignorance is willful ignorance."
It's not just for women. It's not just about women. In my opinion, the vast majority of what happens within the book can apply to any marginalized community - whether it is by gender, by race, or by disability.
"Memory is a strange thing. It reorganizes and connects. It provides context and clarity; it reveals patterns and divergences. It finds the holes in the universe and stitches them closed, typing the threads together in a tight, unbreakable knot."
When one first reads the premise of the story, they will think that is a fantasy story about feminism and the rage of women about their "expected" place in the world and the tyranny of enforced limitations (Keep your eyes down). This is to be expected as it is set in the 1950s and is a memoir of a young girl named Alex.
But, it's more about the memories, and the trauma of keeping silent. The author Kelly Barnhill says in the acknowledgements:
“I thought I was writing a story about rage. I wasn’t. There is certainly rage in this novel, but it is about more than that. In its heart, this is a story about memory, and trauma. It’s about the damage we do to ourselves and our community when we refuse to talk about the past. It’s about the memories that we don’t understand, and can’t put into context, until we learn more about the world.”
"Just because people won't talk about something, it doesn't mean that it's any less true or important."
The book addresses many touchy issues including patriarchy and the indoctrination of gender roles, as well as dysfunctional families and emotional abuse. Additionally, Kelly Barnhill looks at taboo subjects around women and "anger," and the complicated aspects of gender identity and its issues in society. And in my opinion, most importantly, the book touches on the distortion of history and suppression of information (and memory) and finally, choices and freedom.
"Perhaps this is how we learn silence - an absence of words, an absence of context, a hole in the universe where the truth should be."
This book is a demand that you live your dreams, and to not accept your "predefined" role in society but rather, make your own choices and your life.
"A good knot requires presence of mind to make, and can act as a unshakable force in a shaky, unstable world.”
One of the side stories within the book is around knots and their magic. Alex's mother made knots for everything - bracelets, clothing, curtains - even Alex and Beatrice's hair. "A knot for safety. A knot for luck. A knot for knowledge. A knot to prevent change..." Before the Mass Dragoning, when Marla went to visit, Bertha questioned the loss of Marla's bracelet of knots. Specifically, it seemed as if the knots were used to keep a girl "grounded" to where they couldn't "dragon" as years later, Alex is still wearing the knots her mother always made for them.
I do wish that the book delved more into the history of the knots and perhaps more examples of how it was used to keep the women from dragoning - or expanded on the storyline. It seemed that the knots were so important in the first half of the book that when they weren't mentioned in the latter half, it felt as if there was a void.
"People are awfully good at forgetting unpleasant things."
Additionally, when I started the book, I highly expected to furious and fiery dragons - not dragons who raged only for a day before disappearing. When they reappeared, they were calm, patient, and reintegrated with society. I understand why it was written this way; however, I would've liked to see more rage, more "fire" from the dragons and honestly, not be patient to try to "reintegrate" with society but rather have society accept them for who they are - not try to make themselves less "dragony" as possible (yes, I know this is isn't a word but neither is dragoning technically).
"Embarrassment, as it turns out, is more powerful than information. And shame is the enemy of truth."
Lastly, Alex. I loved her "cheekiness" of being known as "Alex" rather than Alexandra. I saw her grow throughout the book, learning how to open her mind and accept people for who they were and yet, I felt like her story ended unsatisfactorily for her. She had her eyes on the sky until it seemed to matter and she didn't dragon. The ending felt a little rushed, as she had more time spent with her first love, Sonja, and her wife only had a brief mention in the last pages. Obviously, the author wanted everything wrapped up; however, it did feel rushed.
"What is grief, but love that's lost its object?"
Perhaps I shouldn't have given it 5 stars; however, my immediate thought was that it deserved 5 stars and I would be recommending it to everyone. After sitting with it and rereading it for the Book Club, I would actually give it 4.25 stars - there was just a few things that I felt didn't quite meet the message that the author intended.
"Time, in our experience, is linear, but in truth time is also looped. It is like a piece of yarn, in which each section of the strand twists and winds around every other - a complicated and complex knot, in which one part cannot be viewed out of context from the others. Everything touches everything else. Everything affects everything else. Each loop, each bend, each twist interacts with each other. It's all connected, and it is all one.
But every once in a while, there are experiences that slice all the other moments apart—stark, singular things that mark the difference between Before and After. These moments are singular, separate from the knot. Separate even from the thread. They can’t be tugged at or loosened. They cannot be wound into something lovely or intricate or delicate. They do not interact seamlessly with the fabric of a life. They are of another substance entirely. Unstuck in time, and out of sync with a life’s patterns and processes."
Happy Reading!
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